


Developed Feelings

by Fangirl_In_Disguise



Category: Jacksepticeye Fandom, Markiplier fandom - Fandom, Septiplier Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Jack get food poisoning, Jack!Whump, M/M, Protective!Mark, but no shower sex because that's dangerous, just a little though, showering together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2018-11-29 01:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11429883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_In_Disguise/pseuds/Fangirl_In_Disguise
Summary: Mark suddenly realizes he has feelings for Jack. Does Jack return his feelings? What happens when Jack suddenly gets sick?Probably my worst summery yet but whatever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many unfinished fics to work on but this idea was stuck in my head, so here it is, hope you enjoy!

It was once again time for VidCon, so understandably the whole gang was in town. On the last day, it was decided that Jack, Felix, and Ken would be driving up to stay in Mark, Ethan, and Tyler's shared apartment for another week or so. Tyler fortunately drove a minivan (which Ethan and Mark constantly teased him about) and everyone was able to fit inside. Tyler was driving since it _was_ his car, and Ethan sat in the passenger side. Behind Ethan sat Ken, and beside Ken sat Felix. In the back, behind both Ethan and Ken sat Jack, and Mark sat next to him.

It was getting dark, and Jack stared out the window at the bright city lights. They were truly mesmerizing to a country boy like himself, and it almost made up for the lack of stars. He could live without the noise though.

Mark watched Jack slowly falling asleep against the window his chin resting on his hand. It was painfully adorable to watch. Jack was wearing an over-sized sweatshirt that he'd borrowed from Mark after he exclaimed how cold it was; Mark, being the gentleman that he is (and given he had long sleeves underneath and Jack had short sleeves), had offered his sweatshirt. Jack had declined at first, but later he shivered very visibly and Mark handed him the sweatshirt without saying a word, he just glared, daring Jack to protest. Jack looked at Mark with a sour mouth as he took the offered clothing, but his eyes relayed fondness and thanks. That's one of the things Mark loved most about Jacks eyes, they were always so expressive, even when Jack was trying to keep something, his eyes always seemed to give it away. At least to Mark they did, when he had commented on the matter to Felix the swede replied saying "I can't tell what his mouth is saying half he time, let alone his eyes. I swear it like you're _trying_ to make me ship it."

The Van swerved when a small white car cut them off, cutting off Marks thoughts. Jack was jousted from his slumber and Mark quickly looked away... to see Felix glaring from his seat in front of him with a deadpan expression. Mark blushed and held back a groan. Of course blabber-mouth-Felix would be the one to catch on to his crush.

Wait, crush? Since when did he have a crush on Jack? Since when was he gay?

Mark looked back over at Jack just in time to see him stretch his arms and yawn; he made a small whimper like sound at the end of the yawn.

Mark might not know since _when_ he was suddenly gay, but he certainly could figure out _why_ he was gay; or better yet _who_.

"How long was I out fer?" Jack mumbled, rubbing one eye. Honestly he must be that adorable at least partially on purpose, no ones naturally that cute.

"Just a few minutes," Mark replied quietly, because he had been stating for those minutes so of course he knew how long. His deep voice vibrated in Jack's chest making him feel safe and erupting a familiar flutter in his tummy.

'Oh not again,' Jack thought to himself. 'I thought I got over that dumb little crush after meeting Mark in person.' Although, he knew he was lying to himself. Meeting Mark in person didn't dissolve his feelings, it just made him realize how naive and unrealistic his feelings were, so he pushed them back further and further until they were behind a locked door that only he and Mark held the key to, and unfortunately Mark seemed to be putting his key in the lock.

"Don't let me fall asleep again, kay?" Jack asked, pointing intently at Mark. Mark looked into those beautiful blue eyes, and realized he'd always harbored feelings for Jack, they were just buried because Jack was totally straight, and Mark had thought Jack to be one of his closest friends.

"Hello~o," Jack sang, waving his hand in front of Mark's face. "Earth to Mark, Earth to Mark, do you copy Mark?"

Instead of replying, Mark grabbed Jack's wrist and yanked him towards him before releasing to dig both his hands into the Irishman's sides.

Jack shrieked before falling into hysterical laughter. "UNCLE! UNCLE!" He cried.

"There are no uncles coming to your rescue anytime soon," Mark declared, evilly. Jack continued to laugh and yelp.

"Would you two keep it down back there!" Tyler exclaimed. "It's hard enough to navigate this highway without you two morons fighting in the back."

"We weren't fighting! We were tickling!" Mark objected. Jack had been released from the upper part of his seat belt and was laying behind Mark (who had scooted forwarded to yell at Tyler) and was giggling lightly, still trying to recover from the attack.

"CAN WE STOP AT MCDONALDS???" Ethan screamed suddenly upon seeing the Golden Arches.

"Ken!" Felix yelled. "What are you doing on my phone?!"

"AAAHHHHH!" Jack shrieked as Mark resumed his tickling.

Tyler turned off the exit as Ethan begged him for McDonald's, Ken and Felix fought over the phone, and Mark and Jack were being gay in the back. Tyler calmly parked on the side of the road and waited. Ethan was the first to catch on, and stopped talking. Not long after, Felix managed to win back his phone, and confusedly asked "Where the fuck are we?" This question prompted Mark to once again pause his attack, Jack sat up and looked at their surroundings.

"Is that a McDonald's?" Jack inquired. Tyler's head dropped onto the steering wheel repeatedly.

"You okay, Tyler?" Mark laughed.

" **Okay** ," Tyler began, sitting up straight. "Here's the deal: we get McDonald's, we have a quiet meal, and afterwards the first person to speak is sleeping on the couch!"

Mark suddenly remembered their earlier dilemma about who would sleep where. He, Tyler, and Ethan each had their own rooms with their own beds, but they only had two spare mattresses on storage, so someone needed to sleep on the couch.

No one spoke until Tyler had pulled up to the window and asked what everyone wanted. He received calm and collected replies, and they ate in silence. Tyler had turned on the radio, but only the front speakers worked so it was only background noise to Mark and Jack, but it meant they could quietly whisper to each other if needed. Mark had ordered a burger, while Jack had gotten chicken nuggets. At some point it seemed Jack had gotten ketchup on his nose, and hadn't seemed to notice.

"Jack," Mark whispered. " _Jack,_ " Said man looked up, and shrugged his shoulders annoyed as if to say 'The fuck you want when I have chicken nuggets?" The gesture would have been endearing on its own but the fact that he currently had ketchup on his nose made it even more so.

Mark made a pointing gesture to his own nose, which made Jack even more confused. If it had been anywhere else on his face he would have understood instantly, but honestly why the hell would he instantly understand that he managed to get ketchup on his nose of all places? Mark sighed and looked up before grabbing a napkin out of his bag and crumpling it. He turned to see Jack looking as confused as ever and thought, 'Oh, what the hell,' before reaching to grab the back of Jack's neck and wiping the ketchup off his friend's nose. He looked back to Jack, thinking he'd see a look of comprehension on his face, but instead he looked and felt his chest swell up.

Jack was staring at him, lips parted slightly and dilated pupils staring into his. His green hair was messy and falling onto his face, and his glasses were slipping down his nose. Once again Mark felt adoration when he saw how small and delicate Jack looked in his sweatshirt, and how cute it was to see the sleeves were way too long.

He looked back up into Jack's eyes, and realized this... haze Jack seemed to be in was being caused by the hand placed gently (but firmly) around the back of his neck. Mark didn't even realize he was leaning forward until their noses bumped, and by then it was too late.

"Screw it," Mark breathed, barely audible. He pressed his lips flush against Jacks.


	2. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark realizes Jack has a fever, and wonders what their relationship is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only had food poisoning once, and I was on my period at the time so I thought it was just cramps until I puked, so I hope this is an accurate representation of it.

Jack gasped lightly, before completely melting into Mark's hold. Mark was absolutely euphoric, he'd never thought kissing could feel this good. Jack's lips were slightly chapped but so plush and when he bit down on the bottom one he earned a delicious small whimper.   
  
He still kept the one hand on Jack's neck, almost like if he were to let go the moment would be over; but his other arm wrapped around Jack's back and pulled him tightly forward. Jack responded by grabbing the front of Mark's shirt in both hands, pulling himself even closer.    
  
"Mark,” Tyler interrupted. “Do I take this exit or the next one?" Both Mark and Jack whipped around to stare at the front, where Tyler was obliviously driving down the road, just as nonchalant as ever.   
  
"The next one," Mark said after looking out the window for a moment. Tyler nodded, and didn't respond. Mark looked around the vehicle; Ethan was slouched against his door and was snoring lightly, Ken was Daydreaming out his window completely lost in thought, and Felix was playing on his phone. None of them gave any sign that they had noticed the happenings in the back, which Mark was eternally grateful for.   
  
He looked to Jack, who had been staring at him before he turned his head to the side, blushing a bright pink. Mark moved his hand to guide Jack's chin until they were staring into each other eyes. Jack saw only want and adoration in Mark's eyes, and Mark saw... well he'd never seen Jack so _vulnerable_. Normally the younger would have a wall up it seemed, as if to protect himself. Even when he was with friends he still kept up his barriers. Yet now, sitting almost in Mark's lap, he looked open and raw and so defenseless. Mark wanted to have him then and there, to unwrap every naked emotion until Jack was a writhing mess beneath him. The thought made him tighten his hold on the younger, which Jack responded to by closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Mark's. It was then that Mark realized how _warm_ felt.   
  
Mark leaned back and placed his hand on Jack's forehead. Yep, definitely warmer than it should be.   
  
"I think you have a fever," Mark stated. Jack raised his eyebrows and looked down in a 'welp that makes sense' kind of way.   
  
"Jack?" Mark asked sternly.   
  
"Well," Jack began, and was prompted by Mark's expectant look to continue. "I may have eaten some dodgy mac and cheese back at the hotel...". Mark groaned.   
  
"Jack, why?" he whined, looking over for any other visible symptoms.   
  
"I was hungry!" Jack defended.   
  
"Do I hear voices back there?" Tyler demanded. He looked in the rear view mirror, and thankfully Jack and Mark now had an excuse for sitting so close.   
  
"Jacks sick, I think he has food poisoning," Mark stated. Ken and Felix both turned to look at Jack, while Ethan snored in the front.   
  
"Do you feel like you're gonna be sick?" Ken asked, ever the adult.   
  
"Not yet, but it explains why I'm so cold," Jack responded, looking down. He didn't want to be sick, he hadn't been actually sick in _years_ , and it had to be when he was with friends no less.    
  
"Alright, we're almost home," Tyler said from the front. "Just hang tight Jack." Jack groaned, falling against the back of his seat. Felix laughed.   
  
"It could be worse man," Felix commented. "You could be contagious... OW!"   
  
Jack had leaned forward and pulled on Felix's hair. Felix attempted to retort and reached out hand, but Mark quickly pushed him back into his seat. He wasn't about to let Felix engage with Jack while he was sick.   
  
"Guys, calm down," Ken urged. "Ethan's trying to sleep."   
  
"Sorry," Jack apologized.    
  
"We'll get you something for the fever when we get home," Mark cooed. The others went back to doing their own thing, and Ken decided to follow Ethan's lead and hit the z's, as there was another hour of driving left.   
  
Once everyone's attention was off them, Mark wrapped his arm around Jack, pulling him close to his side. He felt his heart flutter as Jack cuddled into him. The younger man than brought his knees to his chest and lay his head in the crook of Mark's shoulder. 

Jack inhaled deeply, Mark's scent overwhelming him. He was already wearing his sweatshirt, but it was nothing compared to the real thing. Mark was rubbing his hands up and down his side, which had always been a sensitive area since he was so ticklish. The feeling of Mark's chest rising and falling beneath him didn't take long to lull Jack into sleep.

  
Mark looked down at the green mop of hair tickling his neck. He's not exactly sure what they were now. It wasn't really typical for friends to kiss and cuddle he supposed. Did he want to be Jack's boyfriend? More importantly, did Jack want to be _his_ boyfriend? Mark doubted at this point that Jack was straight, considering he seemed to be a willing participant during the kiss, and he was burrowed into Mark's side. Did that mean he was ready to enter a relationship? It was only a few months ago that Jack and his girlfriend broke up. It was mutual terms, they just didn't work together, but breakups were still tough on a person.    
  
Maybe he was thinking about it too much. He should probably just enjoy the feeling of Jack pressed against him, and be making sure he would be taken care of in case the food poisoning got worse.    
  
For just under an hour Mark attempted to move as little as possible as to not rouse the sleeping man next to him. Mark, Tyler, and Ethan all lived in a house in a residential area, that was closed to civilians. Mark chose this area because he'd had problems with a few fans finding his house in the past, and he liked the privacy. Once they were about a block away from their house he decided it would be best to gently shake Jack awake.   
  
"Jack," He whispered while rubbing his arm. "Jack, it's time to wake up."   
  
"Níl mé ag iarraidh a osclaíonn," Jack replied, burrowing further into Mark's side.   
  
"Jack, we don't speak Irish," Felix said, startling Mark.   
  
"Jag jävlar hatar dig," Jack retorted in Swedish.   
  
"Hey! Don't cuss at me in my own language! Gora mig inte komma tillbaka dit!"   
  
"We're here," Ethan declared sleepily as Tyler pulled into the driveway. Jack groaned and sat up reluctantly.   
  
They lazily made their way out of the car, and as they walked up the sidewalk Mark said "Chica's probably already asleep, so she might not greet us unless we make too much noise." He pulled out his key and made his way inside, Jack right behind him and the others following not far after.   
  
"Jack, come over here," Tyler said from the kitchen. "We should take your temperature." He pulled the thermometer out of the cabinet they used for medical supplies.   
  
"I got it," Mark interjected as he took the thermometer from Tyler. Tyler rolled his eyes and started looking for something that would be good for the symptoms of food poisoning.   
  
Mark walked over Jack, who had took it upon himself to sit at the island as he was feeling dizzy, though he wasn't about to admit to that.   
  
"Under the tongue," Mark said, holding the thermometer up to Jack's lips.   
  
"I know how to use a fucking thermometer, Mark," Jack grumbled as he snatched the thing from Mark's hand.   
  
"Whoa, you okay man?" Ken asked. Jack never snapped at people, and he would _never_ snap at Mark.   
  
"Yeah, sorry," Jack apologized, rubbing his temples. "My heads just _killing_ me, I didn't mean to-"   
  
"It's okay," Mark said gently; he resisted the urge to touch Jack and comfort him more, but with so many people present he figured it was best not to.  Jack slid the thermometer in his mouth until it beeped, signaling that it was done. He pulled it out and Mark leaned forward to see the reading.   
  
"104.3," Mark read aloud. "That's not good, we should probably stay up until it goes down."   
  
"Wait," Jack began. "Who's gonna sleep on tha couch?"   
  
"I'm assuming those two," Ken said, pointing to the living room where Ethan was curled up on one side of the couch, and Felix was spread out on the opposite end.   
  
"Aww," Mark said dramatically. "I'm gonna take a picture hold on," Mark said standing up and sneaking over to his sleeping friends.    
  
"Lemme see!" Jack whispered excitedly when Mark came back. They both giggled at the picture while Tyler brought Jack some over-the-counter medicine.   
  
"It helps with pain and nausea," he explained.   
  
"I'm not nauseous?" Jack said, his eyebrows drawn together.   
  
"Not yet." Tyler walked upstairs, throwing a 'goodnight' over his shoulder.   
  
"Jack why don't we put one of the spare mattresses in my room so I can keep an eye on you," Mark suggested. "And you-" he said pointing at Ken, "-can sleep in _Ethan's_ bed."   
  
"Hell yeah," Ken said. "Wait, where's that?"   
  
"It's the second door down that hall," Mark directed. Ethan had chosen the only downstairs room when they moved in.   
  
"Kay, thanks. G'night Jack, night Mark."    
  
"Goodnight," the two responded together. After they heard the door shut, Mark turned to face Jack.   
  
"So, what did we learn," he drawled out before standing to fill a glass of water.   
  
"To not eat dodgy Mac n Cheese," Jack replied, humoring Mark. The older man came back and held out the full glass to Jack.   
  
"That's right, now be a good boy and take your pill," Mark demanded. Jack laughed before placing the small medicine in his mouth and taking a big sip of water. "You should bring that with you by the way," Mark suggested while gesturing to the glass of water. "It's good to stay hydrated when you're sick."   
  
"Yes, mother," Jack agreed joking as he took another sip. Mark leaned down to place his hands on either side of Jack on the island.   
  
"That's Daddy to you, sweetheart."   
  
Jack choked on his drink, spitting water all over himself. Mark laughed heartily, and kissed the crown of his head, "Sorry, I couldn't help it." He laughed. "Come on, I'll get you some pajamas." Jack giggled, blushing, and trotted behind him. The house was fairly new, so there was minimal creaking from the stairs, something that Jack was unused to.   
  
As they walked into the room, Chica's head popped up from the opposite side of the bed, where her dog bed was placed. She sprang up excited and ran towards her owner, her tail wagging vigorously.   
  
"Hi, Chica! Did you miss me?" Mark asked in a baby voice, Jack smiled at the scene before placing his water on Mark's bedside table and bending down to pet the cute dog. Chica greeted him excitedly, and she seemed to recognize him from Jack's last visit Mark noted from the way she greeted him. Jack rubbed her belly as he cooed random gibberish at the dog, and Mark suddenly realized the gibberish was actually Irish; not that Chica cared though, she will accept praise in any language. Besides, the language sounded good coming from Jack's mouth.   
  
"So, how's the headache?" Mark asked after a few minutes.   
  
"It's pretty much gone, can barely notice it," Jack replied, not looking up. Mark hummed in reply before getting up and moving towards the closet to grab pajamas. He grabbed a blue T-shirt and matching flannel pajama pants for himself, and a black Markiplier T-shirt with a pink mustache for Jack with grey sweatpants. He also decided to grab Jack another sweatshirt (the one with blue pull strings) since he made him spit on the last one.   
  
Mark dressed in the bathroom, and when he came out, he saw Jack sitting in Chica's bed, wearing Mark's clothes, with the dog laying on his lap. It was hands down the the most heartwarming thing he had seen in his life. Mark pulled out his phone and snapped a few pictures, a few of which Jack smiled for once he realized there was a camera out.   
  
"We should watch some TV while we wait for your temperature to go down," Mark suggested, smiling.


	3. Mixed Signals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Mark are in Marks bed when Jacks thoughts and fears get the better of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI!!! I love Wiishu and wish her and Jack the best!!! This fic is purely fictional and for entertainment!!! That being said I suppose I should at least warn you of inferred/mentions of past abuse in this chapter, I hope you guys like it!!!

After a few minutes of another episode of fawning over Chica, the two men decided to watch a horror movie. Well, Jack had suggested they watch a horror movie and he's the sick one so Mark agreed. Jack was situated in the middle of the bed, with Chica on his left and Mark on his right. There were a few inches of space between the two of them that Jack loathed, although he tried to be rational about the situation. He was sick, so Mark might not want to be near him even if it's not a contagious illness, which he completely would understand, but that doesn't make him not want to feel his friends warmth again.   
  
Another explanation for the gap between them could be Mark was beginning to regret what transpired between them in the car, which would really hurt Jack; but he could also understand why Mark would feel that way. None of his previous relationships ended well, despite what he said otherwise (even to his best friends) even his last relationship ended with him being slapped in the face and a hand around his throat. Signe was a nice girl, he just brought out the worst in nice people. He didn't want to do the same with Mark; he didn't want to make Mark hurt him. So he supposed it was for the best that the half-korean regret what they did. It would cause both them less future hassel.  
  
"What's wrong?" Mark suddenly asked. He sounded very concerned, like he was talking to a toddler that scraped their knee; he even went as far as to pause the movie, which in this century is a big deal. It was then that Jack realize his eyes were clouded and there was a tightness in his throat.  
  
"Fág mé ar m'aonar," he instinctively replied. Growing up with four older brothers and sisters means getting used to telling people to piss off whenever you're upset and don’t want to be interrogated four separate times. He was about to apologize for being defensive when he realized Mark didn't even know what he said. "I just feel funny," he lied.  
  
"What's really wrong," Mark pressed. He knew Jack better than anyone else (though he did not know it) so of course he would spot the lie. Jack sat for a few long minutes trying to come up with a better response, while Mark waited patiently, never once letting his relaxed yet concerned gaze wander away from Jack. 'I wonder how long it would take for me to get him to hurt me' Jack thought. It was horrible and he knew that, but it was the raw truth. Every relationship he's had ended with him getting a few bruises before it ended, no matter how nice they were in the beginning Jack always managed to drive people to hurt him. He tried his best, he really did. He’d never argue, he’d always agree with the other person because he knew if he didn’t it would start an argument; and arguments led to… worse things.  
  
He wondered what was wrong with him. He tried to imagine Mark yelling at him, not like he does when they're playing prop hunt, he tried to imagine Mark **_enraged_** , but just the thought of that made him want to curl up in a ball and cover his ears like a child. It was hard to imagine, but its happened to Jack before. He pictured Mark, standing over him hurling abuse and waving his arms around. The image made Jack want to puke, though that could just be the food poisoning. Either way he was taking way too long to reply.  
  
(Line Break)  
  
Mark couldn't keep his focus on the movie from the moment it started. It seemed to be one of those ones intended only to scare and therefore had no good plot whatsoever. So understandably he was far more interested in the man beside him. Jack was staring at the tv, though he seemed to be more focused on his own thoughts and didn't even notice Mark's staring. Mark eventually gave in and stared longer than what would be considered "not creepy" as he observed Jack. Said Irishman was running his left hand absentmindedly up and down Chica’s back as the golden fur rose and fell peacefully. The new sweatshirt Mark gave Jack was even bigger than the previous one which was complete not on purpose. Totally. Mark definitely did not like how cute and adorable Jack looked not only in large sweatshirts but specifically _his_ large sweatshirts. Jack resembled a child, and his messy green hair didn't help the image. Mark thought he'd seen Jack's hair at its messiest but this was a whole new level. It was as if every strand was attempting to lay in a different direction, and it made Mark wonder how it would look in the morning after a night of fingers running through and pulling at it.  
  
Of course Mark was too busy being a fucking teenage schoolgirl that he didn't notice Jacks change in demeanor until his eyes followed a strand of green hair to his eyes, which were filling with tears.  
  
Mark immediately sat up straighter and reflexively paused the movie, which evidently neither of them had been paying attention to.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked, already extremely protective. He’s always debated with himself and his family whether or not his protective nature was a good trait or a bad one, but right now he cared about Jack’s well being. He repeated the question after getting bullshit replies in both English and Irish (the latter of which he inferred was defensive judging by the tone). He waited patiently as Jack seemed to internally argue with himself on how to reply in a manner Mark would accept as the truth and back off, which Mark new wasn’t going to happen. He briefly wondered (and hoped) that whatever was going on in Jack's head was a result of his sickness and not something that was actually plaguing the sweet Irishboys mind. He would hate if Jack was bottling us emotions, though it could explain the wall he seemed to have up at all times. Whatever was going on, he wanted to know how to help- no he _needed_ to help. There was no denying anymore, he didn't have a mere crush on him, he loved Jack from the bottom of his heart him.  
  
Jack still couldn't think of a response. He raked his brain and searched through all his previous experiences with excuses but he could think of none that Mark would accept. He wondered if them being friends was enough to get Mark to hurt him, and if so how much time would that give him to reply before Mark would grow impatient and take action. He didn't want to be responsible for another good person getting angry.  
  
Mark starred as Jack seemed to slowly collapse inward on himself. He could no longer wait, he needed Jack to tell him what was wrong, what he could do to help, he just needed him to be okay. Mark reached out and delicately placed his hand on Jack's arm just below his shoulder, as if he were glass; Jack whispered in response...  
  
"Please don't hurt me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you liked it! I love reading your comments its one of the best parts of my day <3


	4. Get Well Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time posting from my phone, so I hope it works out the same. My laptop is getting old and the screen is glitching like hell. When I put in my password to unlock it, instead of the password being in the middle of the screen, it’s in the upper right corner and is in wiggly italics. So yeah I need a new laptop.

Mark wrenched his hand away from Jack, as if he had been bitten. “What?” He choked, feeling a stiffness in his chest.

It was at this very moment Jack realized he was about to throw up.

Jack practically crawled over Mark in his hustle to make it into the bathroom, and he thanked the god he didn’t particularly believe in that no fluids had made their way from him before kneeling in front of the toilet bowl. Mark had predictably sprang up from his respective position on the bed and now stood in the bathroom doorway, his mind still dissecting (or at least trying to) what Jack has said.

Why would he hurt Jack? Why would Jack ever believe Mark would hurt Jack for anything. Jack was everything Mark thought was good, he was strong willed and loving. He was a lifesaver to so many people and he gave Mark hope. The idea of anyone laying a finger on Jack was inconceivable, Mark couldn’t imagine what would prompt Jack to say that to _him_.

It took a mere few seconds for Jack to empty the contents of his stomach. In that time Mark had come up with an array of questions he feared the answers to, but figured now was not the time. He watched as Jack folded his arms over the toilet bowl and rested his forehead on them, his chest heaving gently.

“Jack?” Mark murmured, not wanting to startle his friend.

“Le do thoil nach fág mé” Jack whimpered shakily.

“What?” Mark wondered, as much as he loved Jack speaking Irish he didn’t love not being able to understand what he was saying.

“Stay?” Jack translated, hoarsely. He reached up and flushed his bile down the toilet and cleared his throat. When he leaned back to his kneeling position he noticed Mark had returned with Jacks glass of water. He knelt slowly to one knee, as if Jack were a predator. He supposed he was similar to one, What with his history of-

 _Stop that_ , Jack scolded himself. He’d been working on his destructive thoughts, no matter how much evidence they present he and an online therapy course are determined to tell those thoughts to piss off. The delirium of pre-vomiting most have weakened his resolve enough to let those thoughts get the better of him. He’s ashamed of letting himself be weak enough to say what he did, and hopes Mark will either forget the whole thing or come up with a weird explanation Jack could just agree with.

Jack took the glass from Marks hand, and felt his stomach churn, but his time it was because of Marks fingers brushing against his. Ignoring the feeling, Jack took a big, relieving gulp to expel the taste of bile from his mouth, followed by a handful of smaller sips before he pulled the glass from his lips and sighed quietly.

“Do you... feel any better now?” Mark inquired, awkwardly. Jack didn’t like being awkward with Mark, and it was all his fault. He nodded in affirmation, trying to convince himself that while Mark would (maybe?) never hurt him, it was best he not put their friendship at risk, and the whole situation of what Jack said being sick would even out against the whole “making out in the back seat of a full van” situation.

“Are you okay?” Mark asked. He was more still than Jack had ever seen him. And had one hand on the sinks counter and the other squeezing his own thigh in a vice grip.

“Yeah,” Jack replied, not even believing himself. “I don’t feel like I’m gonna throw up anymore right now”, he continued, happy that he wasn’t lying for the second statement.

“Okay...” Mark trailed off, looking to the ground in such a way Jack knew he was thinking hard. “Do you think you’re okay to get into the bed then?” Jack nodded once again, hoping whatever Mark wanted involved little effort as he was ready to snooze all the bad germs away. His whole body felt limp and heavy, and he was worried he would need some help getting up. “Okay, then I’ll go downstairs and get you a bin in case you suddenly feel sick again, and I’ll be back in a minute,” Mark finished, standing. The plan seemed so complicated to Jacks sickly mind, and he just stared up at Mark in bewilderment. Mark smiled fondly (which went unnoticed by Jack, who was repeating Marks words in his head to try and decipher them) and offered both his hands down to pull his friend to his feet as well. Jack instinctively put his hands in Marks, which he found really, really warm; and firm. With little effort from Jack, Mark pulled him to his feet, which Jack found quite interesting that Mark was strong enough. He was sad when Mark gently let go and dropped his hands to his sides.

“Thanks,” Jack murmured. He turned to go into the bedroom, Chica excited now that he was was headed towards the bed. Wanting to get to sleep herself. Jack heard Marks footfalls closer than normal behind him, and Jack realized he was stumbling a bit as he walked. But it didn’t take long at all for him to reach the bed and crawl to the headboard. Chica sat in her dog bed next to him, panting happily. Mark paused as he gave Jack one more look, as if he were going to say something, but then quickly walked out.

Jack released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Mark was acting weird, and Jack wished he knew the cause.

Maybe he doesn’t like Jack anymore. He’d been acting strange for a while now, and it didn’t stop even after Jack was done being sick. Hopefully everything would go back to normal soon.

(Line Break)

Mark ran both his hands through his dark hair, leaning heavily against the kitchen counter. He didn’t want to leave Jack alone for too long but he needed a moment to collect himself. He had a strong feeling Jack was hiding something from him. The most likely reason Jack would think Mark would hurt him is if someone he’d cared about had done so on the past. But Jack never mentioned anything like that to Mark, and Mark would like to think Jack trusted him the most out of their friend group. And what about the kiss? Mark didn’t want Jack to feel pressured into anything, and he certainly didn’t want Jack to believe he could ever hurt him.

Mark emptied out the small trash can the boys usually kept under the sink, and grabbed some tums to help with Jacks stomach.

“What time is it?” Came a voice behind Mark. He turned, slightly startled. Felix took another step foreword before leaning against the counter as Mark had a few moments ago.

“It’s 2:17,” Mark replied, looking down at his watch.

“How’s Jack?” Felix asked, eyeing the items Mark was holding.

“He threw up a while ago, but he seems to be feeling a little better,” Mark replied after a moment. Felix didn’t break eye contact.

“... that’s not all, what else?” Mark, taken aback, not quite sure what Felix was on about.

“What do you mean?”

“Something’s bothering you, I can tell.” Felix stood up and moved so he was against the counter beside Mark now. “Look, I don’t wanna push, but if something’s bothering you...” Mark sighed. He knew it wasn’t his business to tell, but Felix was a close friend of both him and Jack.

“It’s just...” Mark tried, unsure how to put his thoughts into words. “Have I ever done anything that would... make Jack... I don’t know.” Mark sighed, looking down and clasping his hands together around the trash bin. He was worried about how to phrase the question and concerned what answer Felix may give. “Why would Jack think I might hurt him?” Mark finished. He looked up at Felix as he spoke, and saw his expression change from one of curiosity to one of knowing and alarm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot, the next chapter will probably be up in a few days because I have it planned out in my head.


	5. To Be Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark presses Felix for more information, and later has a heart to heart with Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy if I did this right y’all are going to tear up there’s a lot of whump and fluff in this chapter or at least I tried

“What? What is it?” Mark insisted.

“Oh, um,” Felix caught himself. “Nothing it’s just...”

“What!” Mark worried, although careful of volume control so late into the night. Felix breathed deeply, his face in his hands.

“Look...” He began. “I don’t know if… if it’s my place to tell you or not.”

“Felix-“

“Hold on a second,” Felix said. Mark stared at him intently, hot pressure building deep in his chest. Felix looked around the small room, as if arguing with himself about what he should say to console Mark. “I won’t tell you what Jack told me in confidence-“ Marks jaw clenched and his eyebrows drew together. “But I guess… I can tell you what I saw for myself and what I thought- you know, at the time. The rest you’ll have to get from Jack yourself, ‘kay?” He sighed.

“Yeah,” Mark replied breathlessly as he nodded. He didn’t like where this was going.

“Well, when Jack came over to Brighten- you know for the bottle flip challenge and all- I saw that he... well he had bruises on one of his arms?” Felix said carefully, as if he himself was unsure. He was also making a point to not look at Mark, knowing his friend would be distraught and he would have a hard time not telling him everything. He was concerned with how quiet Mark was being. “When I asked what they were from-, well, it was kind of obvious they were, like, hand and finger bruises, but he -very obviously- lied and said it was from slipping and hitting his arm off the counter. So I asked Marzia to leave because she had been in the room at the time and I hoped he would talk more if it was just me. And well, I could tell she really wanted to stay because she could tell there was something wrong as well, but she didn’t say anything and left because she hoped he would open up to me too.” Felix was rambling, but Mark almost appreciated it. “And well, it took a bit; and at first he got mad, and then _I_ got mad, and then...” Felix paused, as if he were reliving the experience. “…he got scared.” Felix paused here, taking a deep breath. The memory was obviously a painful one that had more to it, but Mark was too sick with the idea the someone would hurt Jack that he didn’t bother to push. “And it took a really- really” (Felix had tears in his eyes, and was having trouble getting the words out) “long time for him to calm back down. We were just sitting there, and I didn’t know what to think. But-“

“Felix.”

Both Mark and Felix looked up to see Jack, standing a few paces in front of the stairs with his arms wrapped around himself, and his messy hair falling down his face.

“Jack!“ Felix startled, moving away from the counter “I was just-“

“It’s okay, Felix,” Jack muttered. His reply was sincere enough that Felix swallowed his defenses and nodded slowly. Jacks eyes flickered to Mark for a few moments before moving back. “I can take it from here.” Mark stood up straighter before following Jack back upstairs to his bedroom, but not before Felix placed a hand on his shoulder and said “don’t make him upset”. The way he said it, almost like it was for Marks sake more than Jacks, didn’t sit well in his stomach.

Jack walked fast for someone that small, so with Mark jogging to catch up it didn’t take long for both men to reach Marks bedroom. Mark went to shut the door, before hesitating. Jack scoffed agitation before stepping forward and shoving the door closed, not caring if it was loud.

“Sorry,” Mark said. Jack looked up at him as if he hadn’t expected Mark to be his usual apologetic self. Jack shook his head, as if expelling a thought. Mark wished he could catch the thought and know for once what was going on inside Jacks head. He thought he knew once, but it’s become clear now he didn’t know enough. Mark sighed and sat down on the bed, leaving one side open in case Jack wanted to join him. Jack hesitated once again before following suit. They say there for quite a few minutes, just listening to the sound of each others breathing, and Chica’s breathing from the floor.

“What... exactly did he tell you?” Jack murmured, almost as if he were embarrassed. Mark was ashamed. Ashamed he wasn’t a better friend. That Jack wasn’t comfortable sharing with Mark his secrets. That he wasn’t there for Jack in a time when he needed him. “Mark?” Jack asked, leaning forward to look into Marks eyes. Both men rested against the headboard; Mark slouched over with tears in his eyes.

“I’m fine,” Mark replied. Jack looked at him unbelievably. Mark didn’t understand, Jack was the one who needed consolation not him.

“Why couldn’t you tell me?” Mark asked, trying not to let his tears fall. Jack stayed silent for a while, looking at his fidgeting hands, the defiant front he had been putting on faded slowly. For a moment Mark thought he wasn’t going to say anything at all.

“I...” Jack choked. He cleared his throat and turned away. “I didn’t want you to know,” he admitted. “I was worried what you would do.” Mark leaned forward, trying to see Jacks face.

“What do you mean?” Mark begged, hemis own composer cracking. Jack sniffles and looked up at the ceiling to keep his tears at bay.

“I was worried you wouldn’t care!” Jack cried softly. “I was scared you would find out and blame it on me, or think I was weak, or- or that you would leave me-“

Jack felt Mark’s arms wrap around his shoulders from behind in a big hug. Marks face was buried in the nape of Jacks neck, breathing raggedy. “I wouldn’t do that,” Mark breathed. Jack unthinkingly grabbed one of Marks hands in his own, feeling the other man squeeze just tightly enough to not hurt. “I could never do anything to hurt you, I’m so, so sorry.” Jack squeezed his eyes shut, and let out a long, agonizing breath. They say there like that for a while, mutually needing time to recover. Jack tried focusing on the sensual feeling of Marks breathing against his neck. Tried not to think about what could happen.

Mark sighed, sliding his arms away from Jacks sides. “He- Felix, seemed to know more than he was... willing to tell me,” Mark mumbled. Jack turned back around, more composed, but with old tears that dampened the skin beneath his eye. Mark reached a hand over Jacks cheek and gently brushed the tears away. Jack looked down his, cheeks pink, and what could be interpreted as a smile rose on one side of his mouth. Mark felt his body tense as he resisted the urge to pull Jack foreword and make the space between them nonexistent. Mark looked down, knowing the conversation wasn’t over. “He only said, that you... that when you were visiting him, you had some strange bruises.” Jack lifted his own hand to grasp Marks wrist and give it a reassuring squeeze.

“I...” Jack tried. “I wasn’t in a very good place back then,” he said, not making eye contact.

“Jack,” Mark cautioned. He used his hand which was still resting on Jacks cheek to urge the smaller man to look at him. He had to school his own features when he saw the pain and weariness in his friends gaze. “If you don’t want to talk to me, then I’ll accept that,” Mark said. He wanted to know everything, sure, but he needed to know Jack trusted him. “I just need to know you’re okay, and that you’re going to be okay.” Jack was choking up again, his face going pink for an entirely different reason. “I need to know that if you’re ever in trouble, you’ll call me, or anyone else who will help you.” Mark searched Jacks face, his hand had migrated to the side of Jacks neck, where it meets his shoulder, and Jack now had both his hands hanging onto Marks arm. His throat collapsed in on itself when Jack shook his head, before bending forward and placing his face in his hands.

“Jack- Jack, c’mon,” Mark pleaded. He hated to see his friend to broken. “There are so many people who would help you, so many people who love you!” Jack shook his head harder.

“Then why do they always end up hurting me!” He cried. He was shaking violently, his composure having completely gone. Marks heart shattered. He didn’t know how to answer, because he still didn’t really know what had happened. So he did the only think he could think to do, and pulled Jack into the most secure embrace he could manage. He practically lifted Jack onto his lap, Marks arms wrapped around Jacks waist like a seatbelt, securing him. He felt Jacks arms draped over his shoulders, and he buried his face into Jack's neck. He felt the other man do the same to him, his stubble tickling at Marks collar.

“I’ve got you,” Mark whispered. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Jacks sniffles were his only reply. Mark squeezed tighter, it hurt to see Jack in pain. He didn’t _ever_ want Jack to feel this way.

“I love you so much,” Mark choked, his eyes shut tightly. He felt Jacks form curl into his, and the smaller man’s fingers dug at the skin around Marks shoulders. The air around them was hot and still, and it was hard for Mark to breathe, but he would’ve stayed there forever if it meant always being with Jack.

Mark felt Jack take a deep breath in and out, and his muscles release some of their tension. He looked up at the alarm clock on his nightstand. 3:02, Mark had planned on sleeping in anyway, but sooner or later both men would have to go to bed.

“We should get to sleep,” Mark whispered, barely softer than a breath. “It’s getting really late.” He finished that last statement with a gentle kiss to the side of Jacks head, before squeezing him one more time.

“Can I stay up here with you?” Jack asked before he could stop himself. If Mark had been able to see his face he would have noticed Jacks look of nervous tension from speaking up.

“Of course,” Mark hummed. His hands slid to Jacks waist and he helped the smaller man move to the side so Mark could stand. He carefully moved towards the light switch and gently flicked it off. If it wasn’t a full moon it was close to it, the cool glow streaming in through the windows outlined Jacks form sitting on the bed, where he was silently watching Mark. Mark carefully climbed into bed and laid down just a few inches away from Jack, looking up into his eyes. The two only stared for a second before Jack looked down at his fidgeting fingers in his lap.

“She got angry a lot,” He said. His voice was distant, as if it too were a memory. “At first She would just break things, like plates, but then... she started pushing; and grabbing.” Mark pushed himself onto one arm and placed his free hand over Jacks own intertwined ones. It seemed to have the effect he was hoping for as Jacks whole demeanor seemed to slow. “It just got worse.” That statement stood for a moment before Jack laid down, facing Mark, who in turn matched his position, the bed creaked lightly at the movement, which was the only other sound outside the breathing of the rooms three (don’t forget Chica) occupants.

They laid like that for some time, and eventually Jacks eyelids grew heavy and fell closed. Mark watched the creases on his forehead disappear and the skin around his eyes soften. Mark thought he was asleep until his eyes slowly opened again.

“Did you mean what you said?” He asked quietly, his accent unintentionally stronger as he grew more tired. “That you love me?” Mark felt the corners of his mouth stretch out in an honest, gentle smile.

“Of course I did,” Mark replied, hoping this answer would be enough. “I do.” Jacks eyes flickered down to nothing in particular as his mind fretted.

“In what way?” Jack finally asked. Mark wasn’t expecting this question, but thankfully, he already knew the answer.

“In every way,” he replied. And it was true. He loved Jack more than he’d ever loved anyone. He was his best friend. He was like family. “I could be anything you want.” Jack stared into his eyes, unblinking.

“What do _you_ want?” Jack breathed, as if he would scare Mark away. Mark considered this one for a few moments longer, though there were no doubts in his mind nor heart.

“I want you to be happy.”

Jack lunged forward into Marks chest, burying his face in Marks neck. Mark wrapped his arms around him and took in the soothing scent of his hair. Neither of them could say who fell asleep first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t the end! Our boys will be back in this fic. Remember I love reading your comments and they’re the only external writing encouragement I get so please share your thoughts in the comments! I love you <3!!!

**Author's Note:**

> If anybody had any suggestions or thoughts please comment! I love seeing what you guys think <3


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